Why couples counseling is important
Relationships can be a source of joy and happiness when they are healthy and going well, and a source of never ending grief and hurt when they are not.
In Session Counseling offers professional couples counseling services to all kinds of couples who are experiencing dissatisfaction in their relationship. Research shows that couples experience relationship dissatisfaction, on average, for 6 years before seeking professional help. That is a long time to be unhappy! If you are wondering whether your relationship could benefit from counseling, we urge you to seek the assistance of In Session Counseling’s trained couples therapist sooner rather than later.
Unhappiness within a marriage or relationship happens slowly over time, and grows and worsens when not addressed. The "perfect" relationship is a myth. ALL couples argue and have conflict. It is not the conflict itself that causes the problem, but rather, the couple's skill in handling the conflict. Did you know that nearly 70% of conflicts within a relationship are perpetual problems? These are the arguments over things that you and your significant other have over and over again because they are actually not solve-able. When couples lack the communication and problem management skills to deal with the perpetual problems in their relationship, it can feel like everything turns into an argument. Over time, resentment for your partner grows, leading to a lack of connection, emotional distance, and affairs.
While divorce is sometimes the best option for all involved, we strongly urge couples to consider seriously committing to several months of couples counseling first. Why? The answer lies in the fact that all relationships require the people within them to have the skills needed to sustain a happy and stable relationship. Couples counseling will teach you these skills. Without relationship skills, people are likely to find that any new relationship they begin has its own 70% of perpetual problems, and you still lack the skill set to effectively deal with them. This is precisely why the divorce rate for second and third marriages is even higher than for first marriages. Those who do not learn are doomed to repeat their mistakes.
From the beginning, couples counseling takes more time in carefully assessing exactly what the problems are that are present in the relationship. The idea is that treatment, or helping you "fix" your relationship, cannot happen until the therapist has a deep understanding of what is going wrong in the relationship. Because relationship difficulties develop slowly over time over a matter of years and sometimes decades, please understand that it will take your therapist more than one session to catch up! Further, assessing couples takes more time simply because the therapist is dealing with two clients instead of one. Thorough histories of each partner must be taken in prior to beginning treatment.
Second, couples counseling is different because your therapist must be a therapist to both individuals, and will be very careful to not "take sides". With very few exceptions, both partners in the relationship are responsible for both the difficulties within the relationship, as well as learning a new skill set on how to repair the problems. Couples therapists usually have a "No Secrets" policy with couples, meaning that the counselor will not help you to hide things from your partner, but instead help you find a way to communicate better directly with your partner.
Third, many people find that couples counseling is more "directive", meaning your therapist will be focusing most sessions on actively teaching you and your partner new skills. Couples counseling is most effective when each partner approaches it with an open heart and a willingness to learn. Anyone seeking a marriage counselor in Toledo can benefit from it. To learn more, reach out to In Session Counseling today.